Friday, August 5, 2011

domestic goddess in training

I accept that I am not a casserole-baking-sewing-my-kids-clothes-homeschooling-scrap-booking queen.

I am trying to become some of those things (I would like to scrapbook someday, and casseroles I have nothing against) but, to anyone who actually knows me it is pretty apparent that I am not a natural at any of this.

Before I had an excuse. I worked full time. Who expects someone who pulls 50+ hour weeks to be a Martha Stewart? No one, and we gawk in awe and disgust at those who somehow are, and either fantasize about marrying them or dumping their bodies bedazzled garbage bag somewhere. Those bitches give the rest of us a really bad name.

But now? Now that we decided for numerous reasons that I would stay home now with Thing 2, now am I supposed to be good at that stuff?

Now its almost tacky for me to not have my schmidt together. How disorganized or pathetic do you have to be to mess this up?

The answer is clearly however disorganized or pathetic I am. I actually am very uninterested in hearing the amount that would work out to be because I am sure it would be depressing. But in my defense, I challenge those who would judge to try it. Be an entirely non-Joan Cleaver type person and suddenly try to fit in that apron and heels. Yeah, that is so not happening here.
The other day while on the phone I had to answer what I do for a living. The woman gave me the title of "homemaker." I almost laughed. My husband, when I later relayed this story, did. In his defense, I was laughing when I told him about it.

But now that I "don't work" (that is a hilarious notion indeed) I feel like I should really be a lot better at all this wifey/mom stuff. So I am making a list of crap that I feel I need to learn to do and rock at. The list will be a work in progress. For example, I might try something and swear it off and never do it again, thus needing to remove it and all things related to it from the list. I can also add stuff later as I think of it. I don't want to become a 50s housewife, I just want to have fewer domestic reasons to laugh at myself.

The list has stuff on it that I view as being worthy of my attention or stuff that I have seen other moms/wives do that I have thought "dang, I never do that" before. I won't waste time putting stuff I know I won't do down but I will shamelessly put down stuff I already have started to do before the formal idea of a list popped into my head. Hey, it gives me a sense of accomplishment and this might improve my general chances of success!

Domestic Stuff I'm Gonna Rock At: (catchy title, eh?)

1. Use my Crockpot (for something other than the one recipe I know)
2. Use my Kitchen Aid Mixer
3. Make a weekly menu and actually use it
4. Regularly make weekly menus
5. Try to make something from scratch (this doesn't have to happen regularly and will involve goal #2)
6. Iron (when we aren't going to a funeral)
7. Make a cleaning schedule (I need organization dammit)
8. Figure out how the food processer works
9. Find the damn food processer because its in "storage"
10. Figure out what the hell Mahjong is
11. Use coupons
12. Budget better
13. Wear an apron (I have one, wore it at work or when painting, yet I get filthy while cooking and never thing to wear the stupid thing)
14. Seasonal decorating (this one is already in danger of not happening just because I think putting scarecrows up in Arizona's fall is stupid)

When I imagined my list it was a lot longer, but at least this is something to start with. Lets view this in a positive way, the list is short because I am already so faboosh that I don't need to do much more! Woo hoo!

Oh shut it, I am trying to be positive here!

No comments:

Post a Comment

Read the Printed Word!