In my previous
life, I was a teacher, and I loved it. But, I found myself annually
praying for a job because adequate funding for education is about as
likely as eating one pop tart and leaving the other one in the silver
wrapper. Not happening. This meant that my resume was updated on an
annual basis for a while.
But I always
found that there were things that I just couldn't incorporate into my
resume, stuff I am quite skilled at, stuff that can be dayum useful
... but really has no place in a “professional,” hoity toity
resume. So here are ten of my top non-professional resume worthy
skills so I can get my awesomeness out of my system. In no
particular order ...
1. Skilled at
creating new and much more amusing (though not always
child-appropriate) lyrics for children’s songs.
2. Able to
complete a wide array of tasks adequately and on time while
concurrently winning several games of Words With Friends.
3. Competent in
instant bathroom location at any locale, even when I have never been
there before and the signs are in a language other than my own.
4. Able to
covertly obtain an entire bed's-worth of blankets onto my half
without waking sleeping partner. (Please contact my husband for
confirmation and at least 5 minutes of whining on his part.)
5. While
playing basketball with garbage I will almost never hit the can, but
I am optimistic and hopeful enough to try every time.
6. My Momdar
(mom-radar) enables me to know when a child in a five mile radius
climbs on a surface higher than 2 feet from the ground, is in
possession of a permanent marker, or utters the phrase, “this will
be sooo awesome!”
7. Able to make
dee-lish Mac n' Cheese without reading the directions on the box.
8. Loves reading
historical romance novels but ruthlessly judges others for enjoying
such drivel.
9. Able to make
working models of things like motors and flashlights out of
styrofoam, popsicle sticks and glue. Give me glitter and paint and
they will look good too. (Remember – former teacher and a
mom)
10. Knows all
the words to “Fresh Prince of Bel Air” and can still fold
M.A.S.H. notes.
There are so
many other things I can do that fall flat on resume judgment day, but
this small smattering gives you a glimpse into the amazingness that
is me.
Careful,
jealousy isn't a slimming trait.
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